It's hard on a person to have no social status in your area, especially if you are not having a fun time. And, by not having a fun time, I mean things are not going well for you.
For myself, I used to work at a college, and there I felt normal. I had an education, similar or less than everyone else. No one expected me to be in a relationship. I played foosball with the IT guys. It was chill. Now that I don't work there anymore, my social norm has changed and I don't feel valued like I used to. Now my education is worthless as far as social status, and not being in a relationship means that I'm lacking somehow. Also, I feel worthless because I don't have a job, even though I keep busy sewing quilts and have tried my hand at the farmer's market. Now having money (no matter the job that procures it), and relational status matter more than being interesting or having an education. Now my life seems directionless. I don't like these societal norms.
Also, how do I stop feeling arrogant about knowing stuff? I know that I don't know everything. In fact, I don't know alot, but I feel so self-important and knowledgeable when talking about world/local issues with certain friends. How do I change this so that I can get to actual learning and bettering myself? If I focus on that, will I stop worrying about fitting in with my area's social expectations? Can I become a better person?
On the positive side, things are going okay for me. I didn't recently have my heart broken or my purse stolen. No awkard young man is confessing their love for me. My car does work. It has gas in the tank. I still have money in the bank...ish. I'm enjoying the television shows I'm currently watching, and some of the books that I'm currently reading. My sewing skills are expanding, and I just made a hairthing that says "I love you " in Hangul (Korean). I also am enjoying the lovely weather outside, the wonderful fashion book I read today, and the wonderful food that I get to eat. I am blessed in many ways, even as I ponder on how it sucks to have little to no social status. Maybe it is a good thing to think about these things once in awhile, to keep the dark thoughts of failure balanced and at bay. I sure feel alot better for it.
And now for the music video. It should be Itaewon Freedom by "UV" of J.Y.P.Entertainment, but no, it will be I Am The Best by 2NE1. Essentially, they say "I am the best/you are the best" over and over again. I don't actually like this song, but the outfits and sets rock, as they usually do for 2NE1. I am a big fan of a lot of their fashion, or rather aspects of it, like CL's red jacket in Can't Nobody. Other style highlights include chainmail hood, lego vest, huge braids/dreads, hair that defies gravity, and lots of non-skanky outfits. It can also be noted that the youngest member of 2NE1 is younger than the Bieb's (Justin Bieber) while the oldest is older than myself (somewhere near 27). Can you spot which one is which?
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